Living is the Easiest Thing: Family Time

Showing posts with label Family Time. Show all posts

A few days ago, Kelle Hampton wrote this post on her blog, Enjoying the Small Things and it has caused, no helped me to realize and understand that being the perfect wife and mother is not what I once thought it meant.

When J and I first got married, I thought being the perfect wife meant doing all the laundry in one day, keeping dirty dishes out of the sink and the living room picked up with no blankets thrown around and gasp no dirty clothes lying around either. Now that motherhood is looming ever so close I was scared to death at what being the perfect mother would mean. Would I be able to keep a clean house, work full time, take care of foster kids, make time for me and J and have time for myself to get a pedicure? (I think the pedicure should have been at the top of that list, but I wouldn’t want ya’ll thinking I’m selfish or anything)

Because of Kelle’s post, I’m beginning to think the important things aren’t whether or not the dishwasher gets emptied, or the sunroom gets vacuumed, or the clean laundry gets folded. It’s all about hugs (and maybe camouflage band aids) when there are tears, stories when it’s time for bed, milk for breakfast and juice at lunch, smiles cause I love them so much.

There are so many emotions running through my heart right now I hardly know how to name them. All I know and put my trust in is that God is in control of this situation, he knows what’s coming and what I'll need to get through it and see the sunshine on the other side.

I guess we've spent so much time preparing our hearts and our house and praying for direction that I'm freaking out now that its time and it could happen any moment now. I mean after Wednesday we're open, we're on the list, we could get called, we could come home from work and pick up a child on the way.

Poor Cassie won't know what hit her!

I'm sorry

You know, I've apologized for a lot of things in my life. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. Upon realizing that I've made a mistake and potentially hurt someone I love I make amends, no matter what that may look like. It could be a card in the mail because the person on the other end of my ass-headedness is too far of a drive. It could be a heart-felt "I'm sorry" and a hug. If you're J, it's an I'm sorry and hopefully a romp in the sack before the day is out. It could be your favorite cupcake from a specialty bakery (OK, this isn't mine, but it did happen to me when I was the one that had been hurt).

I've never felt the need to apologize for something that wasn't my fault or for something that was out of my control until yesterday. I apologized to my mother for not being able to give her the biological (possibly red-headed) grandchilden I'm sure she so desperately wanted. Don't get me wrong, I know mom is very excited for what is happening in our lives and supports us to the Nth degree. But she just wants life to be easy for me. She wanted me to experience pregnancy- all the aches and pains that go with it, too. She wanted me to experience breast feeding because she knew I'd be better at it than she was. She wanted to see the look on my face when I held my baby for the first time.

I explained to her that if my life was easy, I wouldn't have the relationship with God that I have and so desperately need. I haven't always chosen to do what He asks, or follow the path He has marked for me, but in the last 10 or so years, I have. And what a difference! A year in Belize serving those (who appear to be) less fortunate than I. Teaching first grade for two years at a great school. Marrying the man I truly love. And now, having a family (not the way I wanted, but I'm still having a family, right?)

So, after some tears and hugs and lots of wine (Duh!) I think she understands why J and chose to be foster parents. She thinks J is being selfish by not wanting to do the whole donor sperm thing, but I assured her it was OUR decision, not his alone. I told her that this is what God wants us to do and He knows how badly I want to have a baby. I have to trust that He will bless me. Otherwise, there's nothing.

So mom, I'm sorry if I dissapointed you but this is out of my hands. I love you.

You Better Belize It!

Someone was asking me about my time in Belize the other day, so I thought I'd dedicate this post to the year I spent teaching in Central America.

This is Melvin. I remember him distinctly because he was afraid to use the outhouses behind him by himself. So, out I trotted to the out house every time he needed to go so I could hold him up to do his business. *sigh*

Yes, there are Christmas lights in Belize! Not everywhere, though. This is one of only two houses in town that were decorated for the holidays. It must be known that the family who lives here is VERY wealthy.

These are some of my boys outside playing on one of the many breaks during the day. Children in the primary grades have two 15 minute breaks in the morning, one hour break for lunch, and one 15 minute break in the afternoon. The reasoning behind these breaks is the teachers believe this helps the students to pay attention and learn better.

These are some of the fishing boats tied to a short pier in Corozal Town, where I lived for the majority of my time there.

I hope you liked my short trip down memory lane.

Some familiar faces

I thought I'd share some recent photos of me and J so you can get to know us better:

Me and J while on vacay this summer in Maine.

This is J with a new friend from the children's petting zoo at Maymont Park.

This is me with Cassie, the queen of our house.

Awww, look at DH

This is J with his new friend, the daughter of some of our friends, who loves to climb in J's lap every time they come over.

Vacation Recap!

Bar Harbor, ME was absolutely fabulous! J and I had a great time in Acadia National Park, at the wedding of some friends of his, and bumming around town. The weather was perfect except for the day of the wedding. Tropical Storm Danny made an appearance so the outdoor wedding was moved indoors. From the way everyone was partying at the reception, you would have had no idea there was a storm outside! This picture was taken on the end of the pier at the hotel where we stayed.

Acadia National Park is one of the most beautiful places we've ever been and one of the most accessible, too. We drove all the way up to the top of Cadillac mountain and there were sidewalks with ramps for J to use so he could get all the way to the summit! The picture here was taken in the park at one of the rocky shorelines along the coast. Most of Maine shoreline is steep, rocky cliffs, however there is one beach in the Park and it is called Sandy Beach!

These berries grew everywhere in the park and I thought they were really pretty.

In New York city we picked up the pace a little bit. We stayed right in Time Square where all the action is and had a great hotel room that was very spacious and had enough room for all our crap. It will be very interesting once we have children and begin travelling with them and their crap as well.

I have to end this post here because I have no more pics yet on the computer.

~Kate~

The Day God Saved His Life

This is probably what it looked like when DH ran off the road and into a

barbed wire fence 7 years ago. We went to a wedding today out in another county about an hour from where we live. We drove by the road where DH had his accident. As we were coming home, he decided to take me by there. He showed me the gas station where "That was the last place I walked, babe". WOW Then, he took me down the road a little ways, telling me that he made it through the first curve, but showed me exactly where he ran off the road in the second curve. He hit the embankment and tumbled end over end into the barbed wire fence at the tree line to break his neck and his right hand.

OK, so his hand will heal obviously. His neck, not so much. A C5/C6 quadraplegic, he went through months of physical and ocupational therapies to be where he is today; my wonderful husband! Since his accident he has completed a bachelor's degree at one of the toughest non

-ivy league schools on the east coast, bought a house, married me, and now he's trying to get me knocked up. Talk about determination! Even when there is no sperm in his ejaculate, he will go to all lengths to get those suckers outta there.

Even though it was difficult for me to see the actual place where he broke his neck, he has been out there several times since the accident. He told me it was the day God saved his life. Not sure I would have the same outlook as he does.

~Kate~

Are We Really on the Same Page?

For the most part, J and I have been together on all the decisions we have made regarding getting pregnant. Even from the beginning, we both agreed we wanted to wait two years before having kids. We both agreed to try on our own for six months and then seek help if I wasn't PG by then. We both agreed after a few months of trying that we needed to see a specialist because of his bp when we have sex. We agreed that I would make appointments for him to have an SA done and meet with an RE at the same time so we could move forward. We both agreed that we could not use DS (donor sperm) for our family.

Now it is time to get the ball rolling for J to get a testicular biopsy done to see if there are sperm in there, and while I would like to have a baby of our own, I'm concerned for J at the same time. Knowing he won't be able to feel the pain of the actual procedure or any of the after affects, I wonder how his body will react to the pain. I wonder how long it will take him to recover from the procedure. I know all these are questions the doctor can answer for us, but can't a girl wonder?

I've told him that he doesn't have to go through with the procedure if he doesn't to and we can go for adoption instead, but I have a feeling he wants to exhaust all means on conceiving our own child before going that route. I think if I were in his shoes, I would want to try all things first before adoption, too.

I never knew this process would be so emotional.

~Kate~