When J and I first got married, I thought being the perfect wife meant doing all the laundry in one day, keeping dirty dishes out of the sink and the living room picked up with no blankets thrown around and gasp no dirty clothes lying around either. Now that motherhood is looming ever so close I was scared to death at what being the perfect mother would mean. Would I be able to keep a clean house, work full time, take care of foster kids, make time for me and J and have time for myself to get a pedicure? (I think the pedicure should have been at the top of that list, but I wouldn’t want ya’ll thinking I’m selfish or anything)
Because of Kelle’s post, I’m beginning to think the important things aren’t whether or not the dishwasher gets emptied, or the sunroom gets vacuumed, or the clean laundry gets folded. It’s all about hugs (and maybe camouflage band aids) when there are tears, stories when it’s time for bed, milk for breakfast and juice at lunch, smiles cause I love them so much.
There are so many emotions running through my heart right now I hardly know how to name them. All I know and put my trust in is that God is in control of this situation, he knows what’s coming and what I'll need to get through it and see the sunshine on the other side.
I guess we've spent so much time preparing our hearts and our house and praying for direction that I'm freaking out now that its time and it could happen any moment now. I mean after Wednesday we're open, we're on the list, we could get called, we could come home from work and pick up a child on the way.
Poor Cassie won't know what hit her!
2 comments:
You're going to do great, and I can't wait for that moment when you get the call. ::hugs:: My prayers are with you, my dear, and stay strong. You can do it! :)
(((hugs))) I'm SO excited you guys are thisclose to being parents :)
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